Speak Now
by Idunnowhy
Summary: What happens when you push a werewolf past his limits? How Bella's wedding SHOULD have gone at the beginning of Breaking Dawn.
1. Burning

**_All characters contained herein are not, in fact, my creations, but belong to Stephanie Meyer. If they were mine, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now. _**

**Jacob_  
_**

The glare from the sun beating down on my shoulders all but blinded me. Standing on the corner of the street I cursed myself and the nameless, faceless, masochistic need that had driven me from the silence of my solitude to stand on the periphery of this moment. Loathing the weakness that had driven me to run for days, until my legs ached and my chest burned with every step, for one last glimpse of her beautiful, pale face, those turbulent chocolate eyes, the pale blush that rode her cheeks before the heart that created that blush grew still and cold, I squinted to find a familiar face in the Cullens' back yard.

There were ribbons dancing on the breeze, and metal folding chairs that still carried the light scent of City Hall lined up on either side of a white runner that rippled with the air currents passing overhead. Some kind of archway stood at the end, exploding with satin and lace and white roses in full bloom. My nose caught the scents of cake and pastries and some kind of meat I'd never smelled before but made my mouth water. Probably some fancy gourmet dish from Paris or Rome or something equally ridiculous.

Friends and family were speaking in hushed tones, too softly for even my inhuman ears to hear. But their joy and laughter wafted through the air, wrapping around my throat and squeezing until my chest heaved with the effort to draw a solid breath. A car drove down the dirt road, spraying stones that nipped and stung the exposed flesh beneath my ragged denim shorts, and the driver flung curses that my buzzing ears barely heard before racing away.

Neither the burning in my legs or the voice floating in my head could penetrate the fog of despair that had me wrapped in its grip, making my knees weak with the horrible words that echoed in an endless, taunting litany in my mind. I was damned. Nothing, no torments of Tantalus, no trials of Hercules, no fires of eternal condemnation could have damned my soul as truly as it was at this moment.

_She_ was there. Inside the mansion of a house, somewhere, she was running lotion over that smooth skin, pulling a brush through her miles of dark hair, laughing breathlessly and stepping into a dress that would show off her exquisite figure to perfection. Somewhere she was smiling dreamily into a mirror and contemplating the wonders of her new life, the future waiting just over the horizon. Somewhere she was making herself beautiful for a moment she was determined to remember, the moment she would place her warm hand in his cold one and make a promise that would last for eternity. The eternity she was going to share with another man.

'Not a man,' a soft voice in my head whispered.

Lips curled back in a soundless snarl while the reality of those words washed over me for the thousandth time since I'd read the words that had ripped the rug out from under me. The agony was unbearable. No, not a man. That, I could have endured. It would have eaten me alive, grew, festered, blistered with infection while she shared another man's bed, made another man's home and, eventually, had another man's children, but I would have endured it.

But this, this…_abomination_ was intolerable. In that same mansion of a house was a groom who didn't give a shit about the wonders of his wedding night. He just wanted to sink his teeth into her soft, warm flesh while it grew cold and hard, while her breath stopped in her lungs and her heart gave its last, stuttering beat. Then he wanted her to burn while the rest of the life he'd stolen from her seeped away through her pores, until there was nothing left but an empty shell that lived by stealing the life from the people she loved.

Bella, my Bella, would hate what she would become. The girl that had laughed in my garage would hate the mindless, ravening beast that would be left when she disappeared. _Dedward_ didn't care about that, or about how she would feel when the unhealthy, unnatural ties that blinded her to what he really was were stripped away and she realized what she had lost. How long would that take? A year? A decade? A century, until all her friends and family were dead and she looked back with aching regret at all the moments she'd missed?

Music filled the air now, something sweet and dripping with promise that drove the nails deeper into my already bleeding heart. Without my knowledge or consent my feet began to move, slowly at first, then more quickly, ducking through the trees and staying downwind in a race against time to stop the woman I loved, the only woman I'd ever love, from marrying the wrong man.

**A/N: _So, I'm not a fan of songfics, but as you probably already guessed this fic IS based on a song. Tell me none of you thought of Jake and Bella the first time you heard Taylor Swift's "Speak Now". This (very short) fic is my version of how Bella's wedding SHOULD have gone down at the beginning of "The Book that Shall Not Be Named Because It Doesn't Exist in My Little World." Thanks for reading!_**


	2. Bleeding

**Bella**

Terrified to look in the mirror, I stared down at the swirl of fabric around my feet. This was it. This was really it. All those arguments, all those plans. All the phone calls and shopping trips and excited giggles between Alice, Esme and Renee. It had all led to this. In just a few minutes I was going to (very carefully) walk down those stairs on Charlie's arm, past my old friends and my new family, and pledge to spend the rest of my life with Edward.

Choked, gasping sounds filled the air, almost drowning out the steady ebb and flow of voices from outside the bathroom window. Was the entire town of Forks standing out there, waiting to come inside and watch my humiliation when I tumbled down the stairs and fell at Edward's feet like the uncoordinated, unsophisticated peasant I was?

All right Bella, focus. The choked sound had been replaced by a steady gurgle. That was new. Was the sink plugged? Carefully grabbing the skirt of the voluminous dress that danced and swayed around my ankles I turned to look. No, the sink was fine. Which was good, because Alice would have killed me if I'd done anything to the dress trying to fix the plumbing.

A minute later the gurgling sound was joined by a steady, crinkling rattle, the shuffle of mice scurrying across the floorboards. Oh. Embarrassed, I dropped the skirts of the dress so they'd stop grazing across the bathroom tiles and dragged in a deep breath. And another. And another, until my hands stopped shaking and I could breathe without sounding like I was desperately sucking air through a straw while going under for the third time. Get it together Bella.

Then the mirror over the sink caught my eye. Was that really me? Was that pale, trembling willow in the mirror really me? Oh my god, I looked like a little girl playing dress-up in my mother's clothes.

Alice and Rosalie had done a beautiful job with my hair. The braids looped and dipped around my head, waiting for the veil, the weight of the pins lying like a heavy hat. Alice must have put enough makeup on me keep Mary Kay in business for years. I was pretty sure I couldn't feel my face under the layers of foundation. In fact, I wasn't sure I could feel me at all. Who was this woman-child staring back at me, eyes huge, hands trembling with fear? Was I really ready for this?

No, no I wasn't. I hadn't been kidding when I'd told Edward that getting married at 18 was for girls who got knocked up their senior year. This was big. This was permanent-more permanent somehow than the idea of becoming a vampire, which should have scared me right down to the bone but didn't. Marriage was the kind of commitment you made when you were ready to turn your back on all the other paths laid out in front of you, all the other people in your life that you cared about, to be with **_that_** person. And while I was sure _**that**_ person was Edward...well, it was everything that went with it that had me trembling like a leaf in a hurricane

This would be the last time I saw Charlie, or Renee. After today the clock ticking down the seconds of my humanity would roll forward without them. The next time I saw them again would be at my funeral, and the image filled me with such a deep seated melancholy that tears actually burned the back of my eyes.

Yeah, because nothing said, "I can't wait to spend the rest of my un-life with you" like raccoon eyes on your wedding day.

A thump outside made me jump. The edges of a wooden ladder landing against the side of the house, followed a second later by an eerie profile silhouetted against the frosted windows. The face pressed itself against the glass for a minute, a sticky, squelching sound filling the room before a tongue shot out to leave a trail of slime against the glass.

Laughing, I walked over and knocked. The fiendish grin made me giggle. Mike Newton. I couldn't believe he was here. I couldn't believe anybody was here. The knots in my stomach squeezed tighter. Oh god, how many people had Alice invited? It sounded like all of Forks was milling around out there.

This was my wedding, wasn't it? Why couldn't we have done it at the JP the way _I_ wanted to? Instead I was here, in this gargantuan mansion of a house overflowing with roses and freesia and some other flowers Alice had told me about that I couldn't remember, with the backyard filled with people who had barely spoken to me the past two years and had never liked Edward at all.

Hypocrites. Anger filled me, quickly washed away by the fear. I _knew_ these people. The gossip. The whispers. They were wondering, waiting, like piranhas waiting for their next feast. Swishing away from the window I hastily picked up my skirts, Alice's unspoken warning through my head. Where was she? She was supposed to be keeping me sane. Instead I was here, trapped in the Cullens' (massive) bathroom with a freak on a ladder determined to make sure he was the last thing I thought about before I pledged what was left of my life to the man I loved.

Where was Jacob? Wrapping my arms around myself and clinging tightly, wrapped like a mummy in the yards and yards of cool fabric I was clinging to like a lifeline, I laughed again. The echo of that barking, ironic sound bouncing around the room made me giggle, a hysterical, unhealthy sound that would have terrified Edward if he had heard it. How stupid was it to wish for the person you'd chased away, over and over and over again, cutting them and rubbing salt into the wounds until they couldn't even stand to be in your presence? I would have given anything right then to feel Jacob's arms around me, warm, reassuring, promising me that I would be all right. I needed my best friend to tell me I was doing the right thing.

But Jacob wasn't here. And he didn't think I was doing the right thing. He thought I was making the biggest mistake of my life, and the fact that he wasn't here just proved it.

'Whose fault is that?' whispered the voice in my head, quickly squashed. I knew there was no one to blame but myself, and guilt squeezed the knots in my stomach even tighter until I gagged. Running over to the toilet I leaned my head over. So much for breakfast.

"Bella?"

Alice. Straightening, I wiped my mouth with a piece of toilet paper and smiled weakly.

"Oh god, are you okay?"

Alice fluttered, her movements sleek and graceful in her sheath of pure silver. Behind her Rosalie stood, contempt and concern stamped across her face in equal measure. An overwhelming sense of inferiority swept through me, chased down by a forced smile.

"I'm fine. Just nervous, I guess."

"Understandable." Rosalie's face was unsmiling, smooth. "You are, after all, getting to celebrate the last days of your very short life."

"Rosalie!"

"What? If she can't handle the truth, she shouldn't be doing it." Rose shrugged carelessly. For a second there was a flash of something in her eyes I didn't understand. Then she spun and walked out the door. Alice huffed, handing me the bottle of Listerine.

"Don't listen to her. You're perfect. Everything's perfect." Reaching into the bag by her side she pulled out my veil, shaking it out and tucking it carefully around my braids and the jeweled combs from Charlie and Renee. "It's time. Are you ready?"

Was I ready? There was no good answer for that, so I placed my hand in hers and followed her out into the hallway. The room below us was filled with people, flowers and bows and white satin draped across every corner. The sweet strains of Pachelbel's Canon filled the air, dancing out from Rosalie's nimble fingers while she caressed the keys. With a quick kiss Alice danced down the stairs, leaving me holding on to Charlie's arm for dear life.

"Don't let me fall Dad," I whispered. It would be one of the last things he'd ever hear me say.


	3. Binding

**Jake**

I slunk along the edge of the tree line, staying downwind of the house so the Cullens wouldn't smell me. Months of running had made my steps silent. Slipping between trees and the shadows I headed toward the house. Remembering Cullen's weird mind-reading mojo I forced my thoughts to focus on inane things-baseball, fishing, the crunch of vampire bones beneath my teeth…

All right, so the vamp chomp probably wasn't the smartest thing I could have picked to concentrate on, but I was putting so much effort into staying unheard and unseen that I didn't have time to work on a plan B. I was calm(ish), so Jasper wouldn't pick anything up. Emmett wouldn't smell me, Dedward wouldn't be able to "hear" me, and even if he did all he'd hear was typical wolf nonsense. Nothing about my current fantasies of grabbing Bella and running like a bat out of hell. I was sure the hot blonde and the pixie would be with Bella, and Esme and Carlisle…well, neither one of them were going to do anything. I should have been good to go…

"Hello Jacob."

…Unless, of course, the little one saw me coming. How the hell had I forgotten about that? There was Alice, standing there with a huge smile on her face, her arm wrapped through Jasper's. The pose made them look like something out of GQ, except Jasper wasn't smiling. The weight of his vampire gaze inspired me to curl up and…gnaw his kneecaps off. Do you think Bella would take it personally if I ate her soon-to-be-brother-in-law on her wedding day? The arch of one single, golden eyebrow, the arrogance in those amber eyes looking down on me, all but begged me to try it, flickering shadows dancing off the trees nearly masking the slight tensing of muscles, the all but imperceptible shift of a body preparing to spring.

If he started the fight, would I still get in trouble for it? Probably. Would be worth it though, just for the sheer pleasure of ripping up that fancy tux. It probably cost more than I made in a year and, to me, represented everything that was wrong with this wedding. Well, except for the part where they were going to kill Bella.

How could they possibly appreciate what a beam of sunshine Bella was when they'd never known what it felt like to feel like your whole world was crumbling around you, only to look up and see her beautiful face? They didn't know Bella. They hadn't wanted to know Bella. Dedward didn't find any joy in her moments of recklessness, the times when she threw care to the wind and just dove in, feet first, grabbing life with both hands and finding pleasure in the simplest moments of it. Sure, he'd messed her up pretty good back in the days when I thought I still had a chance with her, but she was still there. She was still Bella. And now…

"You two are just impossible."

Alice, looking like nothing so much as a dainty fairy with dusky, sun-kissed wings fluttering in mad tendrils around her face, walked over and threw her arms around me. The sickly-sweet smell of vampire mixed with the cloying scent of whatever perfume she was wearing, crawled into my nose and down into my stomach, making it churn and bubble and reminding me that getting eaten by vampires wasn't the most embarrassing thing that could happen to me today. I could manage to hurl all over the bride while I was at it. That would definitely make an impression.

Blind panic flitted across Jasper's face. A micro-expression, lasting only a second, but long enough for me to see. He was worried about what _I_ was going to do to the pixie? After what they were planning to do? Seriously? It would serve him right if I did bite her face off. Misery loves company, and all that.

"You're not going to eat me, Jacob, so quit trying to give Jasper a heart attack." Pulling back, her arms still resting on my shoulders, Alice danced happily. "Bella's going to be so happy you're here. This makes everything perfect."

Wait. She was happy to see me? What the hell? She must have known what I was thinking…no, I realized. She didn't have a clue, because she couldn't see the wolves, so she didn't know that she should be running me off the premises instead of beaming up at me like her long-lost best friend. But how had she known I was coming?

"I was worried for a minute when Bella's wedding just sort of disappeared." Taking her hands off of my shoulders, she wrapped her cold little fingers around my arm and started leading me toward the house. "Then Edward got all tense and said you were out in the woods. He would have come out to meet you himself but Renee wouldn't let him leave. So here we are! And look at you."

Stopping, Alice frowned.

"Who shows up to a wedding in nothing but those ratty old shorts? Really Jacob, I don't mind you crashing the festivities, but you should at least look the part. Well…" She started walking again. "…we'll just have to send Emmett downtown to pick up some suit pants in your size. And a shirt. And…"

She kept babbling, but my mind just sort of tuned her out along with the glower boring into my back from the blonde behind me. So, Bella's wedding disappeared? And Eddie was getting all tense about it? That suited me just fine. I still didn't have any clue what I was going to say or how I was going to say it to convince Bella that this was a bad idea-I'd already talked myself blue in the face-but if the little one thought I was only here to see my best friend get married my job just got a whole lot easier.


	4. Betraying

Bella

My knees trembled as I stepped forward and down, the first step toward a future I was suddenly desperately unsure I actually wanted. Fingers tightened involuntarily on Charlie's arm and he reached down, squeezing my hand reassuringly.

"It's not too late to turn back you know," he murmured conversationally, thumb gently stroking the back of my quivering knuckles while he smiled congenially at the crowd. "I have the cruiser parked out front. We could be halfway to Canada before anyone figured out we were gone."

His skin was burning. No, that was me. I was freezing, my fingers so icy I thought even Edward would feel warm right now. I couldn't help the soft giggle that escaped, both at the mental imagery of trying to outrun a room full of vampires and the incredible irony of the fact that on one of the last days of my humanity I felt less human and more frozen than the man I was going to marry.

"Thanks," I whispered, forcing a smile to my own frigid lips. "Let's just get this over with."

Charlie shot me a surprised look, but thankfully didn't say anything else. 'Thank god for Alice', I though. I could only imagine what a fright I'd look like right now without the layers upon layers of makeup she'd piled on my face. Okay, Edward. Just look for Edward. That'll make everything all right.

There he was, standing at the front of the room with Jasper and Emmett. His lips were smiling, but his eyes…his eyes weren't smiling. If anything, they looked almost grim. The smile slid from my face. Was he changing his mind? Had he finally realized he was making a huge mistake by agreeing to marry me?

Alice was beaming, her bright smile just a little too much at odds with Edward's face. Then her eyes flicked out over the crowd and the smile brightened even further. It was just for a second, but…

My eyes moved over the faces smiling out at me. There was Carlisle, strikingly handsome in the casual blue shirt and tan suit he'd donned for the occasion, his arm wrapped around a glowing Esme. Mike Newton winked outrageously, and the memory of his face against the bathroom window made it impossible to do anything but smile. There were Angela and Ben, hand in hand, and behind them were Sue and Seth and there, leaning against the wall…

Oh. My. God.

Time slowed to a crawl. My feet refused to move as my brain struggled to process what my eyes were seeing. It was Jacob, but it was a Jacob I'd never seen before. Dressed in dark slacks and sporting a white dress shirt that clung to him like a second skin, clearly outlining the muscles in his arms and chest before straining over the shoulders and setting off his tan skin to perfection, he didn't look anything like the sixteen year old kid I'd seen only a few short months before. This Jacob was harder, the glint in his eye just a little bit dangerous.

Murmurs floated through the crowd, surprise and speculation and just a hint of the glee that comes from having something new to gossip about. I felt Charlie stiffen beneath my hand, but I didn't hear a word of it. All I could see was Jacob.

Emotions crashed and churned inside of me, but I couldn't drag my gaze away. I'd prayed that he would be there, but now that he was I desperately wished he was somewhere else. Anywhere else. Anyplace he could be where he wouldn't be watching me pledge to spend the rest of my life-and the duration of my un-life-with Edward.

In that instant I knew how Adam and Eve must have felt in the Garden of Eden, after they'd eaten the forbidden fruit. The decision had been made, and there was no taking it back, but it was impossible to live with when exposed to the bright glow of morning.

My own personal sun. That's how I'd always seen Jacob, but it wasn't until then that I realized why criminals always worked under the cover of darkness. It was too hard to see your sins in brilliant Technicolor under the sun's vibrant rays. It made it harsh, real and far too difficult to live with. We couldn't have stood there staring at each other for more than a few seconds, but those seconds were enough to bring my own fears and indecision to light.

I really didn't want to do this. I _really_ didn't want Jacob to see me do it. And it was far too late to change my mind.

"Bella?"

Edward's soft voice broke into my self-flagellation, dragging my attention back to him as it had so many times before. Edward, his eyes now gentle and concerned, his fingers gently stroking along my upper arm with the same gentle, reassuring gesture he'd used thousands of times before.

"Jacob," I whispered, unable to do anything else.

He sighed unhappily, looking over my head. Nothing in the world could have made me look away from his carefully knotted tie to interpret what was being said between the two men. Then he looked down and smiled, that soft, brilliant smile I'd fallen in love with. Charlie shifted and coughed uncomfortably, and my face flamed when I realized that every eye in the room was now greedily drinking in the drama playing out in the aisle I'd helped Esme and Alice create just hours before.

"I'm very glad he was able to make it," Edward murmured, and even though I could hear the lie in his voice I loved him for trying. "Shall we, Mrs. Cullen?"

He reached out and caught my hand, shifting that smile over to Charlie. My dad looked less than pleased with how this was playing out, but he bent his head to lightly kiss me on the cheek and murmur "Remember, cruiser, right outside" before he passed me over to Edward.

Passed me to Edward. Like I was a piece of fine china to be handed down from generation to generation-only this time the handing was a bit backwards, considering my fiancé was easily twice my father's age. My cheeks burned as Edward led me down the aisle. Emmett's face was alive with curiosity, Jasper was glowering, and Alice's smile had slipped. I had a sneaky feeling I knew who was responsible for the fact that Jacob was there, dressed to the nines, his eyes burning holes in my back as I desperately tried to forget he was there. Forcing a smile to let her know all was forgiven, I glanced over her shoulder at Rosalie.

The beautiful blonde's fingers continued to stroke the keys, but the look on her face told me she'd known Jacob was going to be there. The strange conversation in the bathroom suddenly made sense, and I realized that in her own way Rosalie had been trying to warn me. Too little, too late, but I loved her for trying.

We'd finally reached the front of the room, the swishing sound of my skirt almost excruciatingly loud in the sudden silence. Edward gently brushed the veil back from my face, his hands painfully cold against the raging fire in my cheeks. The preacher was speaking, but I couldn't hear his words over the blood rushing in my ears. Staring at Edward's perfect face, it was as though I was seeing his flaws for the first time. His eyes were set just a little too wide, their expression just a little too cold, the set of his jaw just a little too determined.

Those icy imperfections were somehow chilling. I was going to spend the rest of eternity trying to live up to the ideal I had of Edward, and suddenly I wasn't sure I knew him at all. The man standing in front of me could have been a stranger. Had everyone-had _Jacob_-been right all this time? Was I making the biggest mistake of my life? Oh my god, I was only 18. What if…?

"Breathe," the man holding my hand whispered, flashing me a bright smile. I realized the world had gone fuzzy around the edges and sucked in a deep breath. Suddenly it was just Edward standing in front of me and I couldn't help but smile at my own fancy. Just cold feet, nothing more. The sooner this stupid ceremony was over the sooner things would get back to normal.

"If anyone knows any reason why these two should not be joined, let him speak now or forever hold his peace."

The words rang across the room, making me jump. I hadn't realized we were that far into the ceremony already. Behind me Charlie cleared his throat, but he didn't say anything. Did I want him to? No, of course not. I was marrying Edward. This was what I'd been waiting for all these years, right?

"I do."

Right words, wrong voice. The way my heart kicked into my throat when I heard them, and the relief that rushed down my spine when I turned to see Jacob step away from the wall, told me all that rationalization wasn't getting me anywhere.

"Sit down and shut up, mutt," snarled Jasper, his shoulders tensed, ready for a fight.

Alice's eyes were huge as they darted back and forth between me and Jacob. Emmett's eyebrows arched, and the burn in his eyes was murderous. Esme's face was a mask of horror, but Carlisle didn't look the least bit surprised. And Rosalie…

Rosalie had spun around to sit sideways on the seat of the baby grand, eyes dancing, a smile playing around her lips as she watched the scene unfold. She looked…happy.

Well, at least one of us was.

"I knew this was a bad idea," murmured Edward, watching Jacob take slow, deliberate steps toward the front of the room. But his arm shot out, holding Jasper in place when he would have lunged.

My hand slowly slipped from Edward's and I stood there, helpless, horrified and fighting the small part of me that wanted to throw myself into Jacob's arms and beg him to take me away from this horrible mess of my own making the way he'd "kidnapped" me when Alice had me on house arrest.

But that wasn't fair. I was getting married today, so…

"What are you doing?"

The breathy whisper was barely loud enough to be heard, but I knew his supernatural hearing picked up everything. Relief flickered in the eyes that were glued to mine. Big hands lifted to cup my shoulders and the heat flowed like lightening along my skin, which I was pretty sure had reached arctic temperatures by that point. Like a planet dragged into orbit I took one step forward, then another, and a minute later I'd thrown myself into his arms and he was holding me against his chest and it was like I could breathe for the first time all day.

"Don't do it Bells," he said, lips pressed into my hair, his hearbeat a steady, reassuring throb under my ear. "This isn't what you want, and you know it."

"It's too late," I muttered, tears falling out of my eyes and blending with my makeup to streak the front of his shirt. Damn it, that shirt probably cost a fortune. And now I was getting all raccoon eyed at my wedding after all.

"It's not too late, Bella honey. It's never too late." One hand gently reached under my chin, tipping my face up to meet his. "You're giving up who you are, and who you'll be, for what? You're more, so much more, than you'll ever be if you go through with this."

His words hit me, hard. Not because he was telling me not to marry Edward. He'd been doing that since the day he'd found out about it, first by asking, then by disappearing. What struck me right in the heart was the sincerity in his eyes. It was like he saw _me_, with all my flaws, and honestly believed I was something special. It was so different from the way Edward looked at me, the way he treated me. In Jacob's eyes I wasn't something fragile, something to be pampered and cosseted and protected from the rest of the world because I might not be able to handle it. And the way he was looking at me made me want to desperately find out if he was right. But…

"And what do you think she's going to do, dog? Marry you instead?"

"Jasper."

Carlisle's voice was stern, but Jasper's snide words had stolen the thoughts right out of my head.

"He's right, Jacob," I said softly, guilt sweeping through me at the tension that had his arms squeezing tightly around my sides. "Even if I'm not certain about marrying Edward, that doesn't mean I want to spend the rest of my life with you either."

His laugh took me by surprise.

"Sure, sure. So what?" he asked, the amusement in his eyes bringing an involuntary smile to my own lips. "I'll be honest with you Bells, as much as I love you-and you know I do-I wouldn't marry you right now if you paid me. I'm sixteen years old, for god's sake. You're only eighteen, and even if I do have several years on you when it comes to, you know, maturity and stuff like that this isn't the time to do something as permanent as…getting married. You have the rest of your very, very long life ahead of you. Don't screw it up now."

The words were a ghostly echo of Jessica's valedictorian speech at graduation, and they pulled at me. He was right. I didn't know if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Jacob, but after the panic attack I'd had today I was pretty sure I wasn't nearly as sure as I'd thought I was about spending it with Edward either.

"C'mon," Jake said softly, stepping back and catching my hands. "Let's get out of here."

Like the rats following the Pied Piper I took a few involuntary steps forward, then stopped. What was I doing? I looked desperately over my shoulder at Edward, who was watching me with quiet acceptance.

"It's your choice, Isabella," he said softly, eyes filled with understanding and yet impossibly sad. "It always has been."

The words sent a tremor through my stomach as it suddenly became clear that I did have a choice. I'd never realized it before, not really. My love for Edward had been so all-encompassing that it had blinded me to any other future. Now, as he had before on a snowy mountaintop, Jacob was showing me that I had other choices out there.

"Edward, I…I'm so sorry."

Miserable tears clogged my eyes. I couldn't look at Alice, or Rosalie, or Carlisle. Sneaking a peek under the fall of my hair I almost laughed at the relief on Charlie's face. Well, at least somebody was okay with what I was about to do.

"All right."

It was all I had to say. A second later Jacob had scooped me up and taken off at a dead run toward the back of the Cullens' house, bursting through the back door into the bright sunshine. His arms still felt hot, but the chill had left my skin and it occurred to me to be jealous that he wasn't even breathing hard. Then I gave up thinking, snuggling my head into his shoulder and basking in the realization that he'd come back. For me. Wait…

"Does this mean you're back? For good?"

Jacob slowed to a jog, then a walk, before gently setting my feet down.

"That kind of depends on you."

I was shocked to see how far into the woods we'd gone. The trees were thick here, sunlight only a hazy filter coming through the canopy of branches over our heads. It should have been creepy, the kind of place where the stupid girl in the movie runs to right before the killer chops off her head. But somehow it wasn't. Maybe it was the soft calling of the birds, or the flap of the butterflies that danced through the flowers that, despite the lack of sunlight, were blooming all around us. Maybe it was the familiar rush of water I could hear in the background, the steady breaking of waves on the shore.

Tipping my head up to meet Jacob's eyes, I realized it wasn't really any of those things. At least, not really. It was him. I felt safe with him, here, where the dense undergrowth had us cocooned in our own little world. I stubbornly pushed back the little voice in my head that had gaily reminded me Renee was going to kill me for walking out on the wedding she'd worked so hard to plan and focused on the face in front of me-the face I hadn't been at all sure I was ever going to see again.

"What do you mean, that depends on me? I already told you…"

"That you weren't going to marry me yet?" He grinned, reaching out to grab my hands. "Yeah, I got that. It's probably just as well. I don't think Billy would sign my permission slip anyway. Under 18 and all that."

I flushed, then cursed. Stupid blushes. But I really hadn't thought about the fact that Jake wasn't old enough to get married yet, even if he'd wanted to. Or drink. Or legally drive, come to think of it-I was pretty sure he didn't have a license.

Before I could say anything, his face suddenly sobered.

"I know right now anything other than friends is probably out of the question. Offer's on the table, but I don't really expect you to take me up on it. Not yet. But you're here, and you're breathing, and right now that's enough for me. We've got time for everything else. But I need you to promise me if I stay it's going to stay that way, cuz I gotta tell ya Bells, I don't think I'm going to get away with stealing you away from your wedding twice."

Tears made my laugh wet, but I nodded. My emotions were so jumbled right then I didn't know which way was up, but I knew I'd do anything to get Jake to stay. And really, after walking out on our wedding I didn't expect Edward to take me back anyway. I waited for the empty place in my chest to reach out and swallow me whole, but it didn't happen. I felt sadness, deep and cutting and promising lots more pain later when I took it out and started poking at it, but I also felt like a man who's been given a pardon on death row. That overwhelming feeling that was too deep to be joy, or relief, or fear, but something in between the three.

"You know," Jake said conversationally, reaching out and brushing the tears off my cheeks, "there are some serious perks to staying human."

"Like what?"

"You mean aside from that whole heartbeat thing?" He grinned, the dangerous man I'd seen before melting into the boy I knew. "You can still eat real food. Which means you can still cook real food."

"And you're hungry?" I guessed, unable to stop the smile. It was such a Jacob thing to say.

"Well, yeah." Slinging an arm around me, he headed toward the opening to the clearing I hadn't seen before. "I mean, stealing brides is hard work."

I sighed, but slipped my arm around him. There would be phone calls and apologies and hundreds of hours of humiliation in the days ahead, but Jake was back. He'd swooped in and saved me from making the biggest mistake of my life. The least I could do was make him a grilled cheese sandwich.

Or ten, which wound up being a whole lot closer to the truth.


End file.
